Nuances Of The Big Fat Wedding.

Going miles away to attend a wedding sounds like a destination wedding plan. Oh wow, a wedding in Udaipur! But no, the couple just had many relatives at a destination, so off we went. Rather than writing paragraphs I’ll make it in sections.

Dress up pretty: Dil pe patthar rakh ke muh pe make up kar liya. Thanks to this shady lyric yet addictive song, I wanted to use this line so much. So since you’re going for a wedding, you cannot go simple. You should wear traditional, something that has bling so that you shine on you crazy diamond! No, I just went overboard.

Anyway, so all the functions needed some dressing up. Dressing up has some logic that if you’re dressed well, you need to enhance your face too. Thankfully I had some friends to help me figure out the difference between eye shadow and blush. Come on, in the make-up palette, the colours do look same. Then there’s shimmer. It was so difficult to sit tight, chin up, as my friend was applying something over my eyes. It got funny at a point when while putting that mascara, she told me to look straight continuously and her boobs were right in front of me. Sorry man, but it was funny.

I saw in the mirror and well, that wasn’t me. Make-up sure does wonders to your looks, as I wondered who the fuck was that in the mirror. I couldn’t recognise myself I swear. Needless to say, I looked pretty. (DP khich lete hai ek aaj, rishtewalon ko dikha sakte hai)

But well, I was made up to look pretty. I cannot do it on everyday basis. If I scrub my face once a week, bless my skin.    

Receptions: I pity the couple. They had so many receptions. Change of clothes- receive same people- shake hands- smile- click a photo, done. But then they ensured every function had some element. This bride was so cool, on one occasion she came on a bike, with her hubby sitting behind. Traditionally dressed but behaving casual, glares on. Thaat se ekdum!

On another, they arrived on a chariot. Imagine, a lane lit up with all pretty lights, enters a chariot, one with an umbrella, the couple smiling ear-to-ear as others looked at them royally. Wow! After the main function, they even left in a vintage car. So cool, not only the weather. Bro, ab sirf palace me jaana baaki tha. Big fat wedding after all. I really appreciate the patience of this bride-groom who attended so many of their own receptions. Being the centre of not just attraction but every photo. Giving back thank you to every random congratulation thrown in face. Maan Gaye!!

If receptions are starting so grand, guess how good the food will be.

Daawat (Fancy food, heal yeah!): It is of public knowledge now that people go to weddings only to eat food and aunties come to find prospective bride/ grooms for respective candidates in their family. Jitna apni company Corporate Social Responsibility nahi maangti, use jyada social responsibility ye aunties ki hoti hai.

I got so tired in this occasion because there was so much food to eat. So much choice of cuisines. Being a Bohri wedding initially you’ve to follow the custom of eating in a big plate (thaal) where there is a course of food to be followed. Approximately 6-8 people can eat together. Joey can never adjust here. Just saying!

So yes, every occasion had such lip-smacking food! I’ve never had so much variety of non-veg curries, cutlets, rice with chicken pieces all of it together.

We were privileged to have a themed lunch. So there was all the traditional food with extra ghee and chaas in the end. I cannot possibly go on to name every item on the plate, it will just increase my word count and your hunger. I could post pictures to show you but then I was too hungry to even click. 

Dance Basanti Dance: We are all so geared up about celebrations that dance ought to be a part of it. Here too we danced but never have I ever seen people grooving on Sufi music. The night which started on slow sufiyana tracks eventually turned into Me Nikla Gaddi Leke and well, all tried hard to manage their dupattas in one hand while other hand in the air.

Here again, the cool pair of bride and groom, couldn’t concentrate on those clicking pictures with them, but wanted to get off the stage and dance. After the crowd too ignored them, it was best for them to get down the stage and join the dance. Seeing them in middle itself was so fascinating that those around pumped up with more energy. Our basanti was all groovy. Par Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, head over to some gham. 

Bidaai: Totally filmy moment session. Bride is bidding goodbye, hugging everyone, her family is holding up their tears. Then it is time she hugs her parents and they can’t let go of this child all grown-up. That moment was emotional I swear! Then she hugged her best-friends and they too cry in sync. I couldn’t cry only! What was going on in my mind- What do I do? If I take a video of all of them crying will I be insensitive? Thankfully, I didn’t tweet about it. They all were happy tears they told me.

But such a fun thing, the groom’s house was so close to the bride’s. I mean if you play kho-kho in the middle yard, one side she will be in her mayka, turn around and run other side, she will be in her sasural. That is so cool! Maybe that’s why she didn’t cry so much. (I know, I know what you’ll are thinking. Let her get married, we will see how much she cries. Aansu aagaye agar apni soch bilkul milti ho)

But yes, that was the end. Bidaai k baad ka details you may ask her if you’ll are interested. 

PS. Their room was so well-decorated! Let’s not get there.