Hello Everyone, I Hate You.

That’s quite a controversial headline right? But that’s okay. Do not call me to ask what is so wrong; most likely my phone will be switched off. No ting-ting! Such peace but I swear.

Well, life is giving me some real lessons off late. I am piling under pressure and telling I am fine. I am over thinking beyond my capacity and convincing I haven’t gone nuts. I am stressed about stress and trying to be on a dose of what they say ‘chill pill.’ I am resorting to monochromatic pictures because they hide the dark circles.

Gradually this phase changes you.

Earlier when you used to go to a new place with new people around, you couldn’t wait to get along and know more. Today even if you see someone you know at the station you just give a bleak smile. You are hoping that they do not walk up to you and ask ‘How are you doing, what are you doing?’ The hyper extrovert within you is slowly going under the table. Now when someone is shouting at you, you pretend deaf, when someone is questioning you, you play dumb. 

When my parents ask me what you did today, I just say survived.

I may not have achieved anything in particular this year but sure lost out on patience. I cannot listen to everyone’s better attempt at being stupid (read as chutiya) every day. My social butterfly doesn’t want to fly around them anymore.

My most fulfilling conversations today are with my pets. About an hour goes in tending to them, the best time of the day... with kissing back in return. They are more human, so human!

You do not put effort with people anymore, you realise you shouldn’t. You try not to care of anything anymore. Because today’s conversations revolve around how much wrong is being done to someone, how much life sucks, how your bank balance laughs back at your plans, how there is family pressure, how others are happily married.... In this gamut of emotions you feel like detaching. If I could, I would just like to lie on the ground, stare at the starlit sky and makes shapes by joining them.

All of this is just a sign of growing up. You care less about making new friends because they’ll have their share of ‘my life sucks more’ stories. In these many years you come across a lot of people who were meant to be temporary. So now every time a new person is trying to enter, you’ll be careful. Because, for some walking away is as easy but for you, letting go may not be. You’d rather stick to your set of 4 friends who have been along in all the 4 seasons by you than seasonal ones.

How much will you whine about your own individual problems? How much of them do you think want to hear your cry? At the same time, how much will you hide from what you feel, how much will you take it all?

I am filled with rage, and it has become easy to hate. Hate, is a strong word I know. But right now it makes me strong. It is ok to hate people, not up to kill them level; not suck up to them level.

You have a small family by your side and it is a good time. You have 4 friends you can count on, it is a good life. You’re filled with hate for bullshit, it is a good hate. 

Deal with maturity, hate becomes a comfortable emotion. 

Hate with equality, as you grow up in this commotion. 

PS. This post can be heavily misunderstood, concluded to my bluntness or anything even more. And if you do, I hate you. Even if you don't, chances are still the same.