The Drunk Call

At times when you can’t take it anymore, you crave to talk to them, you just do.

I did once, I missed him and I wanted to know if he did too.

Somehow a few pegs down, I didn’t know what courage they served, I dialed his deleted number.

As the bell rang, my heart beats thumped, what am I going to say?

He did not pick it up, it was a sense of relief but I was flared within at the same time,

Did he purposely not pick it up? What would his face be like seeing my name flash on the screen?

Or was he too indifferent to even care? Or what if he’s genuinely busy?

So many parallel thoughts crossing my mind when I was trying to focus my blurry vision.

I knew I’ll regret it once all of it slips out of my system, but while I am at it, I’ll keep trying.

I dialed again after few minutes, checking if the number was proper, it was, no doubt.

Such is the thing with memories, they are perfect even if you lose them…

Again as the bell rang, I didn’t know what to say, what if I sounded completely broken?

He picked up with a hello, he sounded different but maybe because too much time had passed,

I was just happy to hear the voice, I said hello back… what next?

I had missed this, the person behind the receiver, and now as we say hello, I miss him more.

I try being regular, inside I have butterflies, hoping my voice doesn’t shiver for him to realize.

With courage pushing me straight I utter ‘I miss you!’ There’s a pause… it is killing me.

I am shivering as I hear him chuckle, what next…

I know I am regretting it but I don’t even want to hang up, why not make it a bigger regret?

I expose my thoughts; I say what all I feel, I keep talking, not even sure if he’s listening,

I tell him about the times I have remembered him, hated him, or wanted to hug him,

Here I am letting it all out, not caring about judgments, nor tomorrow morning,

I speak too much, it feels good now, I think I can sleep in peace,

He could’ve just banged the phone on me, but he did not, he’s there, heaving sighs,

Has he felt the same? He is hardly even talking so I say goodbye,

I keep the phone and next minute I was asleep,

I got up with a heavy head, not even clear of what I might’ve said,

I look at the phone, I see his missed call…

What? Why? Shit! It all comes crashing, why have I been so weak?

I see a text from his number, I have goosebumps to open it, I can just see a smiley in the small view,

It read, ‘I think his number’s changed, you were talking to a wrong person last night, I am sure wherever he is, he misses you too :)’

I stood still, not knowing to laugh or cry, to thrash him or thank him,

I had opened up to a total stranger, now owning the same sim!  

I don't know if it was tears or I was covered in sweat,

As once again an instant unconscious turned out to be the best regret.