What was Shaandar in Shaandaar?!

I work in the media circuit but that definitely doesn’t make me a movie expert. But as part of my job I get to see movies (yes free!) So I watched the ‘in-your-face’ or rather ‘we need every headline’ making movie Shaandaar. I wouldn’t call this a review but a RiView (Riddhi’s view) I am too fancy sometimes, I know. Thanks!

So as I sat with great curiosity to see the movie unfolding on screen, I checked my tickets to see the name of the movie. Or was there a goof up by the management that they started playing a cartoon film? Whatever! The movie starts with animated narration of the plot which makes me miss the good ol’ cartoon days. Then it transforms into the scene’s reality with a dashing entry by our protagonist JJ (Shahid Kapoor). His first meet with Alia’s (Alia Bhatt) family and I’m bewildered with what I see next. His eyes twinkle and the dragon fly from Alia’s jacket gets a life and meanders on Shahid. Woah! So much for modern romance.

The plot is basically of two bankrupt families who have put all that they had in marriage ceremony or what they call it throughout- a deal! This deal is going to make them millionaires again. But since they’re the Sindhis ( $ is S for Sindhi, BTW) they’ve all things gold-plated. Bappi Lahiri accepted his defeat long time ago, seeing the Fhandwanis! You’ve all things gold and err...gold. Not to miss an opera singer to announce their breakfast every day. Only thing the Fandwanis don’t have any more is funds! LOL! And then our sophisticated JJ is arranging this deal on a tablet with days like college festival is going on- Black and White day, Mehendi and Sangeet so forth. So you have a Mehendi with Karan with a buzzer round. As if Karan's teheeehee wasn't annoying on the small screens ya'll know.. And JJ gives an orgasmic ‘hayy hottie hottie’ feeling to the Mummyji who is solely responsible for this deal. Nobody argues with the elderly after all.

While Cindrella loses her shoe in the tale, our Alia loses her sleep. The beauty cannot sleep and so thinks that going around swimming in a waterfall at midnight is the best idea. And how will she meet JJ to fall in love with if he cannot sleep either and rides along the same area at midnight. So yes, they meet while she is naked (because kapde pehenke kaun nahata hai, you know?) So in short- it is a story of two insomniacs who can sleep with each other. Only, they actually don’t! Alia is very close to her father Bipin aka Bips (because anyway Bipasha Basu’s not getting any screen time these days) and he like any father doesn’t approve of JJ. Also meet Ashok- Alia’s frog friend from the waterfall.

Things aside, you cannot ignore the bride Isha (Sanah Kapur) who is playing the quintessential girl ready to make sacrifices and marry a 8 and a ½ pack guy. The chap won’t miss chance to laugh at her weight but it is deal you know. But Sanah has acted well. Who would take off their clothes during the wedding otherwise? (I revealed too much!) And like any other Hindi movie there have to be songs and dance, so thrown in is some foot-tapping music. While Alia and JJ are horse-riding, dancing and his eyes twinkle while they meet every time, they obviously fall in love.

One particular scene that is so annoying is when the entire crazy family gets high on hash. It is a Somvaar so no one can have the non-veg platter. To the rescue you’ve dumb bimbettes get some brownies and mushrooms for everyone. Then again as everyone gets high and does their own thing, it kills the humour element. A child would surely love to see adults doing tricks, while Alia trips on stars and dances on the earth! I can totally see a nursery rhyme being played out. Moving ahead...

But when the Mummyji dies by sneezing on a pepper powder, things change. She really does die coz of that *tears*So she is made to look alive by our saviour JJ. So cutting it short- Alia and JJ fall in love, he makes her sleep (Tadahhh! Bips is happy now his daughter can sleep) Isha is ready for marital compromise even though she shouldn’t, JJ is the ultimate saviour and the movie goes into the obvious.Just when you thought things cannot get more messy, Mummyji’s customised gold and diamond plated gun arrives by FedUp courier services. By now seriously even I am fed up. I cannot write more ahead. The movie nears its end. Absurd. Just like the way this post ends!
Shaam Shaandar mera din bekaar!

Also this is my first attempt at writing a Kickass (literally) Riview. Let me know your feedback then probably I can attempt more. Be kind because you know I'm like the image above.!