It Is Difficult To See Your Best Friend Get Married

Life is moving terribly fast. It is on the fastest gear on the road of growing up. Those who you’ve grown up with are settling down. They’ve experienced love, moved on, found love again and chose to settle down with the right one. While you are still figuring out if your true love lies in a person, your pet or cheese burst pizza!

The blue social media site is currently all red, golden and full of bling! Pre-weddings shoots to wedding countdown to happily married to happy honeymoon, things are not necessarily moving in that order every time I scroll. I actually wondered if this demonetisation even bothered these people. Anyway, that wasn’t my concern. My concern was what to gift the ones I know. And a bigger concern about my own life. 

I have like 5 girls who I can count on as true friends and in that too if they announce they're getting married, it is like a crumbling brick of 'you've grown up'

To accept that your best-friend is getting married is where my anxiety began. Of course I am happy for her. But I wonder if she will lead a life full of saas-bahu saga henceforth? It is difficult to come terms with, in the sense that she is taking a big step. Will she get time to meet me, she will move away, can we catch-up, forget getting drunk together like before, will the friendship suffer? I remember the first time she told she is getting hooked, I was shocked. It took some time to accept that she will no more eye guys with me, she will, but she has eyes for just one guy! There would be no more stories of casual…. Hook-ups? No more winking at the cute guy in metro? It took me 2-3 days to accept her decision. Not that I didn’t know the guy, but was he good enough? Sure, she wouldn’t have taken the decision just a shot in air but could I validate it? Eventually after hanging out together with the guy, you know they’re the best and couldn’t have been better. There’s some relief but something more as well…

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous at her happiness. In our societies once the family knows and accepts your relationship, you achieve such freedom. So earlier I’d be covering up for her reaching late at home but now she doesn’t need to reason it anymore! Looking at them together every time, falling in love, posting pictures on social media, getting all the ‘awwws’ from the world did bother. Here I still struggle to keep up pace flirting with guys.

Once the acceptance sinks in, you begin prepping up. There's so much shopping to do, gifts to decide and what not. You'd decided you'll dance in her baraat, you'll had talked about how things will be like in each other's wedding. Now it is all coming true and you cannot believe it. In all of this you give no time for the emotional upheaval you're soon to suffer. 

Eventually the day had arrived! Today, she was no mere best-friend but the most beautiful bride. It was overwhelming! The glow of happiness on her face, the wide smile on her husband’s face of officially getting her, the family members sharing warm hugs with each other. You could feel the union in the atmosphere. So many positive vibes, but on the inside, only you know what you’re feeling. She will walk away, bid goodbye, there will be tears. She will come to hug me also, what do I say? I know she is happy, everyone is, even I am but it is so difficult to express.

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Today she has changed her status from single to married, changed her identity with a new surname, a part of a bigger family, taken on new responsibility. Today not just you but even your family is happier for her, because she chose to settle and you’re still confused about it. This is where majority of difficult comes in. There begins a pressure that she did it, you should too.

But leaving that aside, a best-friend’s marriage is an amalgamation of so many emotions that you didn’t realise your friendship could hold before. She messaged a night before to express her anxiety. She asked if it was too late to take a step back now, she asked if she was doing the right thing, she said she was confused, but this girl today is a woman who has done it! She is now settling into her new phase with a partner to shoulder her every responsibility. And I couldn’t have been more proud of her. Her other achievements aside, this crazy indecisive female, the flirty bindass babe is now a suhagan! I wish all the luck to the guy who is going to tolerate her more now and a small piece of advice to him- don’t mess with her, she may look like a doll but has never played like one.