Busy Doing Nothing.

There are times when you need a break. Break from your chores, break from a routine. I need a break too but from my routine which is on a break. Its been 2 months since I gave my  graduation exams and I am still at home. The last day of the exams filled me with a pleasure of never having to study again at least for a while. The result a few weeks back flashing “passed with distinction” also took me to new spirits. But ‘What Next’ daunts every day.

The days pass by looking for a job, applying, giving interviews and waiting for a positive reply. With every mail in the inbox or a call for an interview shows a path to hope. To every interview I go with the same level of confidence and give a hearty smile. All of them say we will call you tomorrow and let you know. But the phone remains silent.

To every person I share this with says have patience you will get a job soon. I pretend to be convinced by that. But how do I convince them that it is absolutely not gratifying to get up every day and have nothing to do? Have no goal or target to accomplish? There is absolute boredom creeping in and getting its best-friend laziness along. It appeared a fun life to just get up, eat and sleep. But it is a case of deceptive appearances. I do not want to sit home anymore. I may go out and meet a few friends once in a while but that doesn't guarantee my next day. I can’t just go out because I'm bored at home. I want to be in a situation which makes me eager to come back home. I want to earn. It is not the need of the hour but I want to have responsibilities, want to feel independent and not live by the rules.

All I have been doing these days is relying on the thing called Hope; Hoping on the assurances given by the interviewers. Checking mails everyday as if I have secret admirer writing me. Waiting for an offer letter as if it is an admission letter from Hogwarts School!

As much as I crib about not getting a job, I am surrounded by apprehensions if I get one. Will I be able to stick around the work? How will I manage the responsibilities? How will my boss and colleagues be? But these questions lie much ahead. As I write this I sit and yawn. Feel sleepy doing nothing. I’ll stop here and may be catch some sleep.